'CHOOSE' - Part 1?

i try my best to understanding what is the main idea related to my life after i read out Ust Hasrizal article on 'Syariatullah' and 'Sunnatullah'. maybe i think the main idea is to CHOOSE. maybe i'm wrong. yes, we must choose whether be or not to be. i try to finish up this article of my own story although i feel a little tired what already happen for the past few week before and what will happen for the week after this.

my life, i see it becoming increase steadily and sometime rapidly with all problem raise from personal aspect to working aspect, interaction with people and so on. i need to have better understanding on what the root cause and consequences that maybe appear from my way to CHOOSE this part or that part, this or that. sometime people not ready to receive any kind of challenges throw or tested by the Almighty Allah. people tend to not to blame themselves and put all the wrongdoing to other and also, Allah SWT.

it sound so crazy but most people, i think can live with it, tend to blame others. me, also do same thing before and by the end, nothing will be solve completely by blaming other rather than start blaming yourself. people can create much more reason on putting mistake / fault to others. how troublesome they are!

i faces a few major problem starting form early this year til now, and honestly, i need to CHOOSE properly. i try to create a few option that i think can solve the problem entirely but i remember, all that option i CHOOSE, can reflect to myself most. putting myself in danger is not an option but to think that option can save other people emotion, bring them to happiness and joy, make me feel that i worth for me putting myself in danger. (am i out of my mind?)

why came to me with your verdict rather than to have an open discussion? see the root cause first, create a few option and try to CHOOSE the best option? make me feel uneasy and smell something fishy on what the matter actually happen before they came to me with a solid result? try to resolve by your own after having debating with your 'juries' and they came to conclusion, you are fired! believe me, i need to CHOOSE without any good option at all.

i feel ashamed when maybe (maybe) a few people may read my post after this and comment verbally (crazy this guy, what kind of stupidity he is bla, bla bla etc), but i quite sure that this is journal of my life that i can review over and over again from the past and i can use this to move forward. i think that it better for me to speak/verbal rather than jotting down something here but i think this title worth to be jotted down.

i may be lost my job this month due to unsolve problem within the company or may my star would be shining brightly as my career will increase rapidly, if i CHOOSE correctly. empty stomach without healthy food and lot of debts appear after this. so, in order to prevent that happen, i stress again, i need to CHOOSE properly what action should i take. when we have to CHOOSE that not related to human being especially their emotion and needs, i think, it okay what the decision you take. (i think). unfortunately, i not life alone on my own.

let call it a day. i'm to tired to finish my today's journal of my life. sorry to myself with bad english language that i use. i want to sharpen my english vocab so that i can take IELTS or TOEFL for my master. i publish this post first and come out with new post the next day.

ayah chik